This might be uncomfortable to hear — but it’s also incredibly freeing:
If you’re not honest with yourself, your physique won’t change.
And I don’t mean honest in a harsh, beat-yourself-up way. I mean honest in a clear way.
Because most women I talk to aren’t lazy. They’re not unmotivated. They’re not “doing nothing.”
They’re putting in effort — sometimes a lot of it.
The problem usually isn’t effort. It’s that the effort isn’t matched to the outcome they want anymore.
I know this because I lived it.
For years, I believed that if I just worked harder…
Sweated more…
Pushed myself further…
My body would respond.
And for a long time, it did.
But then perimenopause hit — and suddenly, what I use to do stopped working.
Deep down, I knew something needed to change. But instead of changing strategy, I doubled down.
More HIIT.
More intensity.
More exhaustion.
It felt productive. It felt familiar. It just didn’t work.
What finally changed things wasn’t motivation or discipline.
It was honesty.
You’re Training in a Way That Feels Productive — Not in a Way That Changes Your Shape
For a long time, I was the HIIT queen.
High heart rate.
Lots of sweat.
That “I’m wrecked” feeling at the end.
And if you’ve been taught that sweat equals fat loss, that makes sense. It feels like you’re doing the right thing.
But here’s the honest truth:
If you want to change your physique, you need muscle.
Cardio and HIIT burn calories in the moment. Strength training changes how your body looks and functions over time.
Muscle helps you:
- Look firmer and more defined
- Burn more energy at rest
- Tolerate food better
- Lose fat in a more sustainable way, especially in midlife
As hormones shift, recovery changes. Stress tolerance changes. What used to work often stops working the same way.
And yet, many women keep doing the same workouts — not because they’re effective, but because they’re familiar.
Honesty sounds like this:
“I enjoy this… but it’s no longer giving me the result I want.”
That doesn’t mean HIIT is bad. It just means it’s no longer the main tool for the job.
Your Diet Hasn’t Adjusted to Your Current Reality
This is where things can feel uncomfortable — because food is emotional.
If fat loss isn’t happening, it’s because you’re not in a calorie deficit.
That’s not judgement. That’s biology.
Most of the time, the issue isn’t huge overeating. It’s lots of small choices that no longer line up with the goal.
Often, fat loss comes from small, honest adjustments, not drastic changes.
For example:
- Full-fat yoghurt → low-fat Greek yoghurt
- Whole eggs → one egg plus egg whites
- Regular ice cream → a lower-calorie option you still enjoy
- Slightly smaller portions, consistently
None of these feel dramatic. But together, they matter.
Here’s the part many people avoid:
Some swaps won’t taste as good as the original.
That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re being honest about the trade-off.
You’re not giving food up forever. You’re choosing options that match your goal right now.
Honesty sounds like this:
“This supports where I want to go — even if it’s not my favourite version.”
Your Habits Are Quietly Working Against You
This is the sneaky one.
Late nights lead to poor sleep.
Poor sleep leads to low energy.
Low energy leads to skipped workouts and reactive food choices.
Then comes the frustration.
Then the “I’ll start again next week” loop.
Not because you don’t care — but because your habits aren’t supporting consistency.
Some honest questions worth asking:
- Are your workouts scheduled like real appointments?
- Are you staying up late knowing it affects your next day?
- Do you keep foods at home that you know you’ll eat when tired?
- Are you relying on willpower instead of structure?
Honesty here isn’t about perfection.
It’s about admitting this:
“If it’s not planned, it probably won’t happen.”
Consistency doesn’t come from motivation. It comes from systems that make the right choice easier.
Radical Honesty (Without Self-Punishment)
This isn’t about being strict.
It’s not about discipline for discipline’s sake.
And it’s definitely not about beating yourself up.
It’s about alignment.
Alignment between:
- What you want
- What you’re doing
- And the reality of this stage of life
Your body isn’t broken.
Your effort hasn’t been wasted.
You don’t need to start over.
You just need to be honest — kindly, calmly — and adjust.
Because when honesty and effort finally line up, that’s when your physique starts to change.
